Talk:FunlovingOmega's Alpha And Omega series/@comment-4834094-20110619000503/@comment-4027332-20110619013157

Well, firstly; Your form of conversation of the story looks kind of like a chatbox. :\ When a person say something, there must be a gesture of some sort.

Secondly; The lack of detail on where they are, their current appearance, and actions, this is one of the main problems at the moment. A story should have good detail too. :)

Thirdly, the characters seem to lack their personality. Where'd Humphrey's humorous personality go? What's the pup's behavior? :) Should put some detail on that as well, makes the story alot more interesting as well.

Hope this helps you in the future!